[quote author=kylepeterson link=topic=25405.msg272773#msg272773 date=1416171640]
This one is different. This one misses friends (yo alex, yo mill!), and longs for more. This one just gets background music instead of a ride video. Click here, The Album Leaf - In a safe place [Full Album] settle in, read on.
She tempts me with nights of pleasure, but only allows me darkness and pain. She requires me to leave my warm wife, kids, and home. She eats my time time like a vacuum, and even steals my dreams while I sleep.
Tennessee is the cruelest mistress.
Just over the river she dropped the first spell on me, and distracted my attention for a good ten minutes. I hadn't seen, or payed attention to, things like this since I was a child. Twenty ? Oh god, thirty plus years ago ? Wow, I really haven't been paying attention at all. So I just crossed the river and saw smoke over the next hill. Wait, no, not smoke. Birds. Hundreds of thousands of birds playing on the wind. Whew. Man, it really has been that long. I better get moving before I'm dead !
Left right blah left blah right ...
finally I came to one-and-a-half-lane country roads. The kind that say "obama" on all the octagon shaped signs. Yesssss, thisssss is what I"m looking for !
The road bisects the smallest of towns, then leads to a gold and auburn blazed road that's only half a canyon, and winds down down down to where we'll be robbed of our time by that sultry forrest promising adventure. You clicked the link right ? Played the siren song ? Ya, you need to do that. She's cruel.
But my crew isn't. My crew, they ROCK. They picked the most private corner on the property for men to consume fire and snort fire water that is possible. They brought sticks for fire, food to keep the bellys fat, new friends (hey chase!) to keep our spirits young, and best of all - the spirit that wants to fly through the woods like fools love to do.
Before I opened my door I smelled mulleys impromptu rejet and saw smiles from friends that just can't go wrong. The grass was fresh cut, the creek was close enough to smell, and the sky was clear.
So mulley's jetting was all done, and two smoke is hanging in the bushes like cotton on stalk. The mistress tempted us with pleasures in the dark, so we suited up and headed out. Two garmins and a kyle couldn't keep her from spinning us around and getting lost a few times, but we managed to pre-ride the next day's race course and kill a little time. We'll have an unfair advantage, but we're old (some of us) and slow (some of us) so it'll be a wash....
then back at camp we realized just how cruel should would be that first night. 22 degrees of harsh cold shoulder was as much as we'd get from her.
that's ok, we have our FIREBALL and small pit to keep us warm.....
raceday morning we woke, poked fire, and round up BACON, EGGS, and sausage to power our day. Most excellent of breakfasts. Worthy of a salute. or something. Maybe we'll just hit the portajon again as a thank you before the race starts. Yep.
About now that nice music ends, and the bitch tried to cheat us again. She stole the air right out of brians tire, and then, with 5 mintues to spare, tried to swallow his axle nut too! Pacing, walking, searching.... Where did that cranky siren hide it ?
AHA, brian found it just as he kneeled to beg her for mercy. Bitch. WE'RE RACING TODAY !
The crew decided since I didn't have a buddy (surprise?) they weren't going to take the easy way out (buddy race) but instead all run the same 2 1/2 hour race I did. Hats off, yall killed me with that one. Buncha badass ! IRONMAN it is.
Now she's really getting ruthless, even on the starting line. She threw Chase's bike for a loop, and held him down while another rider (who never checked up, thanks asshole!) clocked his helmet with either a front wheel or a footpeg, I couldn't tell from my angle. Chase is young and strong, so he shrugged it off and was moving again in no time.
Float like a buttafly, sting like a $#@&ing pine tree to face ! We were in the woods and doing our best, but she kept throwing **** at us. She even enlisted Mother Nature to tear at Brians already bad old-man nerves right at the root. I found baby head boulders with my knees (thanks bitch!) and ate a lot of dust. Chase and I hung out for a while till he realized I wasn't getting any faster, and he checked out. Tennessee wasn't stopping him, no sir.
Music still playing ? OK...
I'm 3 laps in and feeling GREAT. Slow is fast they say, and I'm Turning It Down for What ? Safety. I'm old, frail, and got kids to beat. Dammit. On my fourth lap another rider came up fast behind me and I yelled just like all the others " GET IT !" as I waved him by.
but this fucker didn't pass. He rolled right up next to me and paced me. WTF ? I"M RACING HERE MAN !!
Oh, it's brad. He sucks. He's lapping me. Asshole. :) OK, I got it, I'm slow.
Rolled into the timing tent and got scanned for lap 4. I don't care if he scanned my barcode, said "You only have 23 minutes left for a lap", or I'm tired, or my knees hurt. I'm racing. Another lap ? YES SIR.
On my arrival there were smart assed pre-teen track rats yelling at me to "GO HOME LOSER !!!" and "YOU SUUUUUCK!!!" while they threw their boogers at me (or something) and laughed at my attempts at greatness. Maybe here were cheering, but I doubt it. 8)
*****
CAMP
*****
back at camp i cleaned up (as much as a kyle is known to get 'clean' anyway) and had some beer. fantastic, lovely, ice cold, tasty, sitting-down-in-a-chair-by-the-fire beeeeeeer. oh sweet beer. ohhhhhhh. love it.
then KDTRULL and LAZYBUM rolled in, and I offered them a few. well, they weren't planning to stay, so declined, but did stay long enough to talk motos and about the beautiful road (half a canyon) they rode in on just a few minutes prior. Good peeps, and really nice to meet them at camp. Pefect timing actually. Any longer and someone would have to do a 'wake up mill' since brian and brad were both post-race-napping in their tents.
Mulley and Chase cleaned up at the benefit auction. My knees hurt too bad to stand taht long, so I figured paying twice what the race entry was would suffice. This was a charity event to benefit a girl and her family, who suffers from cystic fibrosis. Knowing someone benefits from our joy and camaraderie is just icing on the cake.
A few stories around the fire about the race, Impersonating Superman, feeling like Kings, and plans for the night carried on....
All good times end, and we found our tents. thumbs down for some shut eye.
Ten minutes later it started to rain. You know I loooooove rain. Cold wet rain. Tennessee is at it again. Evil she is.
...
We were up at 530 or so, broke camp, loaded, picked up every scrap of paper that might bear witness to our being there, and said goodbye to brad and chase. good guys. you should ride with them.
Our bellies grumbled and we found a small store that serves breakfast from 5am on near http://www.shoalcreekcanoerun.com/ the Shoal Creek Canoe Rental (hey mill, hey d12, heeeeeyyyy 8)) that might fit the bill. Yep. Fantastic coffee, food, hospitalitiy, and opinions about mary-j. I love tennessee again. Even if she hates me, tempts me, confuses and perplexes me.
Looove me some tennessee.
Pictures follow.
Then some idiot suited up and said "Lets go". Mulley led the way (thanks, really), and we found some of the previous haunts mill and his crew shared with me. This time the pea-gravel hill wasn't hidden, and no one died at The Wall. We found some new single track that earned mulley's "PRIMO" stamp of approval, and soldiered on.
Single/double/mud pits, all kept us out way past my bedtime (830pm) and laughing by a creek while we caught our breath. Brad did slow wheelies (and sucked), I crashed, brian said smart things, mulley led, and chase worried about his pen light.
***
camp again
***
fireball.
beer.
stories.
tennessee tried, but she didn't have a chance anymore... we were rockin through the evening without worries or cares. conecuh sausage (larry, you da man, man), dogs, beers, fireball, rinse repeat.
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